Monday, 20 February 2012


Hello all of you lovely people :D

Call off the search, we are all still alive! We did have a nasty flu type bug for the first week or so after moving in, but i think that was more to do with all the crap we had been breathing in at the old house, and it finally having a chance to work out of our systems.

The older three children are all at their new schools now, the eldest only started today (transfer in 10 working days my foot) and has been a little anxious, but has had a good day. The other two of school-attending age have been going for a couple of weeks now, and while getting the school runs covered is proving a bit of a headache, things seem to be going quite well.

I am ok, i have been a bit up and down but am getting on. I am finding it quite a challenge to keep the house in the shape i'd like, but the pain team have told me that i am not going to cause any further damage by pushing myself. Hard to believe quite a lot of the time.

It is all worth it though. Every day i wake up in a beautiful house which is clean and dry. A simple sentence and a thing which is easy to take for granted but has made an exceptional difference in our quality of life. Through pushing myself hard, juggling my pain relief carefully and not being constantly ill from breathing in mould, i can even get up the stairs, not nearly as often as i'd like, but more than never which is amazing.

I need to thank my friend K (and her children) who helped pack the old house, helped move everything across and then went back the following day and scrubbed the whole place from top to bottom (a kindness which cost her - exposure to the mould and her allergies left her ill for over a fortnight). I have to thank T and his dad who did the heavy work and who, without the use of their vans, we would still be ferrying items on the bus.
 Also i have to thank all of you guys. Anyone who rt'd my original mould post, who read, donated, tweeted, all of you have had a hand in this massive improvement to our lives.
 And not forgetting my twitter friends, you know who you are and i hope you know how loved and appreciated you are by me, without your support, understanding and crazy senses of humour i would never have managed to stay as sane as i am (that is meant to be a compliment).

I owe you all an apology too. As well as being crazy busy trying to settle in here, find a routine and get used to the area i have allowed myself to be chased away from posting by trolls. Anonymous trolls don't bother me, i can ignore them. But these trolls are people i once would have called my friends. People who turned their backs on me when i became disabled, who left me stranded in an abusive relationship, knowing i was housebound, and worse went on to believe the lies that were being perpetuated about me.
 At first i deleted the comments. Then i worried - did it look like i was trying to hide something? Any reply i wrote just seemed to sound like excuses. It got to the point where i couldn't check my blog email for fear of a disqus notification. I'm not exaggerating here either; thudding racing heart, sick feeling in my stomach, shaking. These people have hurt me deeply, i would have liked to believe they knew me well enough to see that i am an honest person. I would have liked to believe they had the intelligence to question the lies they were pedalled (though i have to admit the liar was, and is, very convincing).

 Well stuff them. I am sorry they cannot find it in their hearts to be happy when somebodies circumstances are given a lift to help them out of the mire. I am very sorry that they don't have the intelligence to question the source of their 'information' (and i use the term in the loosest possible sense). But i will not be chased away. I have done nothing to be ashamed of, told no lies. I was offered help and i took it, not for myself but for my children. Who can honestly say they wouldn't do the same?


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  3. I suffered with hideous SPD in my pregnancies and was wheelchair bound for months - I was lucky. I had a home I could get around in, a supportive husband, friends who helped with housework and cooking and caring for my eldest son.
    I know how hard it was for those few months and can't even begin to imagine how hard it is for Becky to live in that pain on a permanent basis.
    To add to that unlivable conditions in her children's home and her own inability to clean it because of her health issues I am amazed how well Becky has coped.

    I may not know Becky the way the people commenting here claim to, but I know her. I speak to her daily. I saw her pain, her struggle, the anguish she felt when she couldn't care for her family the way she wished to.

    Unexpected disability is a terrible thing to live with and having to deal with that with a young family is something I wouldn't wish on anyone - and I admire Becky every day for living with so much difficulty and doing her best to help her family.

    I don't know who you are but it is cowardice and abuse that brings you to comment anonymously with such poison on the story of a disabled mum. I don't doubt that you think you know Becky but know this - you underestimate her strength and the power of the people behind her. I would stand by her side to the ends of the earth because I see who she is shining through her circumstances.

    Furthermore I see her face. Her name. Where and who she is. That she is so open leads me to trust her and I would give again and again to help her family.

    You, commenting - you do so with threats, abuse and anonymity. Who is the liar here? Who is hiding? Who is, more to the point, breaking numerous laws in doing so? You are a coward and a bully and I am glad that Becky is free of you and has found ways to make her circumstances, and the lives of her beautiful children, better.

    Even if I had never spoken to Becky, even if I for one second thought any of her story was fake - which I don't - I would still donate what I could to give her children a better life. Who wouldn't?